I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love having hate sex.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
