I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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