Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
