So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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