Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
