How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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