$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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