oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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