Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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