every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
