I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
