just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
