And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
