Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize