I'm lost and stupid without you.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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