He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
