Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
