u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's shark week go big or go home
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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