I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize