I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
