the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
