You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
