I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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