She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
