Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
