Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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