How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
