Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
