I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
