i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
