I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
