I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
