saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
