I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
