i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
