I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
