so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
