my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
