maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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