she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I want her autograph on my taint
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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