Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
