Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
