There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
