Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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