if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i drank out of a bidet.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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