party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You dont lie about slip and slides
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
