Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize