Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
