Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
