Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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