I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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