she was so not down for the gang bang
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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