What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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