She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
