Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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