No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
