I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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