Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize