Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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