are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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