Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
