4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
