Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
