PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
