my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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