There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
