We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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